The Third Place: What's Yours?

     A sociological concept poignantly prevalent in today's culture, the 'third place' is the setting where adults can spend time outside of work and home. What are some of the most common, reliable 'third places' in our contemporary world? This varies person-by-person, as the human experience of enjoyment is quite diverse based on your life experiences and preferences.

    One of my dearest friends and I participate in a weekly classical mat Pilates course at a local studio together as our shared 'third place'. We recently fortified our exercise ritual with running a few times a week. For both of us, this shared experience of challenging our physical abilities is a reliable method to continue our friendship through the tumultuous years of early adulthood, without constantly having to plan a one-off meeting. As children, her and I were members of the same Girl Scouts troop. We saw each other at least 6 times a week, between weekly scout meetings and passing by in the school hallways. As I come to the end of my undergraduate college experience, I realize how incredibly lucky I was to see my childhood friend several times in a week. Our 'third place' was integrated in our schedules by its' very nature. We camped, roasted marshmallows, hiked alongside one another, and gossiped about school drama together. Our weekly meetings are incredibly special to me, as I come to realize how busy and chaotic adult life is, no matter what you choose to fill you life with.

    My sister's 'third place' is certainly the movie theater. She finds cinema to be a relaxing way to bond with her siblings, parents, and friends alike. For her, attending a showing alone is a therapeutic experience, focused on her enjoyment of life and its' most basic pleasures: popcorn and easy entertainment. A pause from the constant rush of life, the movie theater reminds her about how to enjoy life like a child: focus on now, and enjoy every second you can.

    I think of what makes the 'third place' so impactful, and I am left with the premise that our preferred recreations will mimic some of our best childhood memories. I, admittedly, love to talk. I think I could be a professional speaker with the endless flow of information constantly filling my brain. As a child, talking to anyone and everyone who would listen was a trademark of mine. The nucleus of several friendships I forged in my Girl Scout troop is a shared love of chatting. Today, I would say I derive more joy from chatting with the same women I have known since age nine than I did then!

    Outside of my personal experience, this hypothesis seems to reign true. My fiancé has always had an infatuation with swords and medieval combat. Today, his 'third place' is fighting other medieval reenactors in heavy armor as a part of a teaching society focusing specifically on this interest of his. Another dear friend learned to crochet from her mother in her youth, and she continues to crochet her heart out to this day. This is not a universal law, but I do believe it is a great way to reconnect ourselves to our initial, impactful experiences from childhood, when life was all new and glorious. 

    If you feel like you lack a 'third place', I think it is best to turn to your younger self. Ask them what they love. Most likely, you will be able to reconnect with something that will bring you joy on a basic, even nostalgic level. Of course, if you were obsessed with Elmo as a toddler, like me, this probably will not translate into your adult life. Even so, our inner child can navigate us to places and experiences that have excited you before, and certainly can again. I hope you can make it to your 'third place' this month.

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